Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Telling People

My son and I went back to the exam room so I could get dressed and start making calls. He looked at the doctor and said "Why'd the baby's heart stop beating?"
Poor Dr. E just said "We don't know."

I told our son "He died and went to heaven to be with Jesus. We will miss him because we wanted him to get to be with us for awhile, but we'll see him again someday."

At the time, my husband worked an hour away from home and as luck would have it was NOT at his desk and not answering his cell phone. Great.

So I called his mom, she was nearby and came to get our son.
Still no answer from my husband.

I needed someone to come be with me, so I called my mom. Thankfully SHE answered her cell phone. I told her there was no heartbeat and she left work immediately to drive to the doctor's office.
While I was waiting for her I kept trying and trying to get ahold of my husband. No luck. The nurses helped me use their computer and try to look up a main phone number for the company. Eventually someone must have gotten ahold of security because later we found out that the entire facility knew something was up, even though my husband only told his boss when he left later that day.

Then I called one of my best friends. I knew she'd be thinking I'd gone into labor, we were all anxiously awaiting that! I told her I was at the doctor and the baby had died and would she call the rest of our group from church and anyone else.

Next, my mom arrived at the doctor's office, followed soon by my dad.

Finally my husband got out of the meeting he was in, saw the missed calls, and called my cell phone. I told him there is no heartbeat.
He said "So what does that mean?"
I replied "It means he's gone, J. The baby died."
"Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. I'm on my way." he said.

I had a choice---to be induced immediately, or to wait for labor to occur naturally which could take a few days/weeks. I chose to be induced. No way could I live through the next few days or weeks knowing there was a dead baby in my belly. No way could I face strangers out at stores or restaurants who would smile or ask when I'm due or what we're having. I mean how would you even answer those questions?!

With the choice to being labor immediately, our journey was beginning......

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