The Funeral

We had a grave-side service on June 17, 2009. We did not have an open casket, we had said our goodbyes at the hospital and thought that would be too hard to face, for us and for other people.

It was a beautiful day. We'd been a little afraid of rain or bad weather, but it was great. The sky was bright blue, the sun was shining, and there were white fluffy clouds dotting the sky. Our son had wanted to make a wooden cross for his brother at the funeral. The night before we helped him make one out of popsicle sticks and you can see it up by the casket in this photo:

The head minister at our church did the ceremony and many other ministers were there to pay their respects. It was especially meaningful for the head minister to do the ceremony because he and his wife also had a child stillborn some years ago. Some of my family from out-of-state came, my boss, my husband's new boss, several co-workers, aunts, uncles, brothers, sisters, cousins, grandmas, friends.

The minister spoke about the story of David and Bathsheba's first baby, that died. David was wrought with grief over it but also had hope. "The child will not return to me, but one day I will return to the child."

Our Sunday School class hosted a lunch for us after the funeral. It was really nice to have that time to go eat and relax.

Somehow we made it through the day. Plenty of tears were shed but we were able to maintain an amount of composure.

You never expect to bury your child. To see that little casket.


Here is a picture of the outfit we buried Sullivan in. We had to go to the mall in search of something for him to wear. I didn't want a stuffy, uncomfortable suit, and most of the sleepers we saw were really bright and cheerful and inappropriate.
Then at Von Maur we saw this little Ralph Lauren set. Super soft and cozy. Subdued with light blue pinstripes. It was perfect. We also buried him with the stuffed elephant you see in the crib. My sister had bought that for him and then brought it when she came for the funeral. It gives me such comfort to know my baby isn't in that casket alone. He has such a soft, snuggly animal in there with him.

Remember I said a vein blew out while they were trying to get my IV in? Well it bruised into the shape of a heart on my forearm. It lasted at least a month. I loved that bruise!