Friday, October 16, 2009


Some would say we got no miracle. Our baby died. I say we got a miracle. It wasn't that our baby lived. It is that he died and we survived.

Over the course of this journey so many people have told me how strong I am. And they are right. But I want you to know HOW I am strong. WHY I have been able to deliver a dead baby, bury my child, and still get up in the morning.

No one would have blamed me if I had shut myself in the closet and refused to come out. Oh I have cried in the closet. In the car. In the bathroom. In the living room. At the cemetery. At the scrapbook store. At the grocery store. At church. In Sunday School. At doctor's offices. You name the place, I've cried there.
But I get back up.

Somehow through the darkest of nights and bleakest of days, I've always gotten back up.

Here's how I've been able to do it.


Because I accepted that he took the place on the cross and died for MY sins, I have assurance that one day when my time comes, I'll be reunited with him in heaven. Him and all my beloved family members who accepted him. And Sullivan. Babies aren't old enough to make a choice to accept Christ, so they ALL go to heaven. This life on earth doesn't last long. I know soon enough I will be able to see and kiss my baby boy again. Without the assurance of a Savior who conquered death, I don't know where I'd be.

If you want to know more about Jesus or how to become a Christian, please seek out a Christian church in your area, a minister, or you can even post comments here and I'll do my best to answer them. If I don't know an answer, I can find you someone who does.

This life will end soon. I'll be spending eternity with my baby and my family. Where will you be?

Some references for you:

Romans 5:8 (New International Version)
"But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us."

Romans 10:9 (New International Version)
"That if you confess with your mouth, "Jesus is Lord," and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved."

John 11:25 (New International Version)
"Jesus said to her, 'I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies;"

Another resource for you is here, this page explains what the plan of salvation is.


  1. I was your waitress at Olive Garden today. When I saw your generous tip, I was very surprised. I had my daughter come over and we looked up your website. I have 5 children and at 41 found out I was pregnant with a 6th. Up until my 5th month of pregnancy, I took my children's lives for granted. I lost my 6th baby in the 5th month. It was the worst time in my life. I know how it feels to come home from the hospital without a baby. You are a wonderful and giving person and I know you will be blessed again with many children. Thank you for being the kind person you are and for sharing Sullivan's Story. He was a beautiful baby and his spirit lives on through your kindness. Sincerely, Mary Ann Johnson

  2. This brought many tears to my eyes! On July 1st my son was born with TOF (blue baby syndrome) At 6days old he went under one of his few open heart surgeries he coded 2x after surgery,I cant imagine what U went through that day. He is 2mon old and now at home and recovery better and better every day we are awaiting his other surgery, Thank U for the gift of reading about YOUR ANGEL SULLIVAN! God Bless U and your family!
    Sincerely Brandy Murray